Oh Sleep, how I miss you terribly.... Since Barret turned six months there have been few occurrences of him sleeping through the night. We cuddle him and love on him in all the ways we can, but when it comes to the middle of the night he just loves to scream. He will scream for hours on end if we let him, and there is no changing his mind. I love the silent moments, the moment when you think he finally did it, He finally conked out and is asleep, and just as you start to think this a sudden burst of tears and screaming abounds.
I often wonder what happened. What was so special about turning six months that he decided he was no longer going to sleep soundly through the night. What happened at six months that he suddenly felt like mama and daddy weren't going to keep hims safe. What happened at six months that we are no longer aloud to get a full nights rest?
To make matters worse, Barret loves to wake up with the sun. And when I say sun, I really do mean it. 5:00am comes all too soon, when you are up through the night with a crying baby and you just want to lay your head on the pillow and not hear screaming and not feel like you are doing the wrong thing and not feel like your son doesn't think you love him. 5:00 am comes bright and early, and with that so does a bouncy baby boy who doesn't seem to be affected by the little amount of sleep he acquired the night before and is excited and ready to start the day. That little bouncing baby boy will let you know what he thinks of you trying to catch a few extra winks with him laying in between mama and daddy in the 'big' bed, by simply trying to gouge your eye out, or scratch your arm to shreds, or pull on your hair, or climb up you face to try and reach what lies beyond....an alarm clock and/or a baby monitor that are bright and shiny and light up...or a combination of it all.
The day abounds with laughter and happiness on Barret's end, and once 7:00 am rolls around Mama and Daddy are ready for the day as well. As we finally, if we aren't already, mosey on out to the living room, shut the baby gate, turn on the radio, and lay on the floor with our oh so happy baby boy. We watch him crawl around and climb up and down our bodies as he tries to be super adventurous and is so excited to show us what he can do. By this time we are awake and there is nothing that can take away the happiness we have in watching our little boy seek adventure and try new things, there is no amount of lost sleep that could make us upset with him for making us be awake....
And as the clock just clicked over to 1:53am, the baby room falls silent....I sit and wait to hear one more cry for mama, or one more shriek of please come and pick me up daddy... I hear silence. Ahhhh silence.....for a mere one minute....and we are back listening to our midnight serenade and tears and shrieks and a waterfall of white noise in the background.
One of these days Barret James you will learn that night time is sleep time and that crying in the night is only going to give you a loss of sleep and that there is no use in crying, because in the morning we get to see each others smiling faces. You will learn that not only is your dark room and comfy crib a peaceful place to sleep, but it is also a place for you to rest your head from the long day you just had. You will learn and understand that Mama and daddy are right across the hallway and we are here to keep you safe. You will learn that your heavenly Father is watching over you to make sure you are safe and sound. You will learn that just because you can't see us at that very moment we still love you and are still here and you will see us in a few short hours... when the sun comes up and the clock strikes 5:00 am.
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